I love onions but they don’t love me.

Whenever I am shopping at the store, I go to the onions and say “hello there Mr. Onion, would you want to come with me to your forever home?”

The onions never respond , but I end up taking them and bringing them home anyways.

Onions are the silent type, they won’t talk to me or even joke around.

They are ungrateful, I give them shelter, a place to live and to grow in my cupboards. I clean them and let them watch “Real Housewives of Omaha” every Tuesday night. (even though they are much too young) I don’t think they appreciate the love and care I give to them.

One day I was getting ready to make some homemade Blooming Onions and needed to use one of my precious onion friends. So I asked if it would be okay to use their help for a little bit.

No response. ( I figured they were being moody)

I asked again.

Sadly, no response again.

I figured it was okay, being that we were besties. I started to give the onions little trim and then that onion lost it. He went crazy!!!!

He started bullying me so much, that I started to cry.

Not just cry, but I balled my eyes out over his words.

I just ignored it and kept creating my favorite appetizer dish.

Tears kept running down my face from the hurtful words he spoke to me.

20 mins later the tears stopped and I had a glorious blooming onion dish

to show all the other onions.

Sad to say they weren’t impressed, they didn’t even give me a high five or a handshake for my accomplishment.

I think next time, I am going to think twice before I let these ungrateful onions come back into my home.

No more tears, just cheers,

Rex Felixx

P.S. blooming onions are better than onion petals.